You left your women's inpatient rehab five months ago, and up until two weeks ago, you hadn't touched drugs or alcohol. You felt strong in your recovery, but then you had a fight with your boyfriend and slipped up.
That one slip-up spiraled until you relapsed completely and began using again. You can't believe how quickly all your hard work went down the drain. Now shame and disgrace burden you down and prevent you from wanting or seeking the support you need.
While a fictional anecdote, recovering addicts are well-acquainted with some form of that experience. Addiction recovery is rarely linear. Although not everyone experiences relapse, it is common for many. And unfortunately, shame and a sense of failure often prevent those who relapse from getting help for their addiction.
Read on to learn about how overcoming shame is an important part of relapse prevention and intervention for women.
The Danger of Shame
Shame is powerful and often drives us to hide when we feel vulnerable. Unfortunately for those recovering from addictions, recovery is a very vulnerable process. It requires you to face your trauma, confront your triggers, and cope with mental illness. The second you stop recovering "perfectly," shame creeps in and leads you to isolate and doubt yourself. When you need help the most, your brain tells you to push that help away.
After a relapse, this can look like skipping your support group, failing to check in with a mentor, or avoiding the return to treatment. Isolating only feeds the cycle of addiction and makes it harder to break free from old patterns. Shame will never help your recovery.
Acknowledge Relapse as a Part of Recovery
The first part of overcoming shame after a relapse is recognizing that relapse is a normal part of the recovery process. Whether you relapse or not has nothing to do with who you are as a person. You're human and overcoming an incredibly difficult addiction.
If you believe that relapse is an indication of weakness, try reframing your thoughts. Know that:
- Relapse is an opportunity to grow.
- You did not choose to relapse.
- Most recovering addicts relapse at least once.
- Relapse is a normal part of recovery.
Try to see relapse as a chance to learn more about your triggers and areas where you might need additional support.
Shift Your Mindset
If handled correctly, relapse can offer valuable lessons and strengthen your recovery in the long run. The first thing you should remember is to be kind to yourself. Instead of blaming yourself for what you should or shouldn't have done, focus on the steps you can take to improve. Recovery is about learning and growing. Relapse happened, and that's okay. Take time to understand what went wrong, but don't let it drag you down. Use your experience to make yourself stronger in the future.
Second, celebrate the small wins. With recovery being a lifelong process, it is easy to feel like you aren't making any progress. Sometimes, it genuinely feels like every step forward is followed by three steps back. That's why it is important to recognize what you are doing right. Whether it's reaching out for help, attending a meeting, or being open with your therapist, be proud of yourself. Over time, these small acts will add up to big gains.
Ask for Help
So, you've relapsed and are thinking, "Now what do I do?" Shame will say to hide and fall back into old patterns, but we've already established that is not a good path to follow. That's why it is important to reach out for help soon after you relapse. A quick intervention from family members, your treatment team, and peers from your support group provides a surefire way to get back on your feet and resume your recovery momentum.
If your relapse was long and significant and requires more than just surface-level treatment, don't be afraid to return to a treatment center. Going back to receive a higher level of care is a sign of commitment to your health and recovery. You don't have to shoulder your recovery alone, no matter how many times or how severely you relapse.
Why Seek Treatment After a Relapse
It's understandable to feel discouraged after a relapse, but the key is to keep moving forward. Getting help after a relapse is an important part of your recovery process for several reasons:
1. You Learn from the Experience
Every relapse is a chance to gain insight into what caused it. Perhaps you encountered new stressors, triggers, or emotional challenges that you weren't prepared for. By returning to treatment, you can gain the tools to better handle these situations in the future.
2. Support is Key to Long-Term Recovery
Recovery requires a community. Treatment programs and peer groups provide the resources and support you need to succeed. The people around you, whether therapists, counselors, or support group members, are there to help you navigate challenges and celebrate your progress. Don't let shame keep you from leaning on your support system.
3. You Continue to Build Your Foundation
Relapse doesn't mean starting from scratch. Recovery is a lifelong journey, and you learn little by little as you go. Making a few mistakes doesn't discount previous treatment or therapies. Returning to treatment only builds on your experience and helps you continue forward.
The Path to Lasting Recovery
Remember, recovery is not a straight path. It's a series of twists and turns, but ultimately, as you continue forward, you move closer to the life you want to lead. When you choose to seek treatment after a relapse, despite shame, you choose a healthier life for yourself. Don't let shame keep you from seeking the help and treatment you deserve.
If you or a loved one has relapsed and needs further treatment, look into our women's recovery programs in Idaho.
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